Life, Unplugged: What Really Happens On A Digital Detox Retreat
As the weekly screen time report flashes on my iPhone every Sunday morning, I’m flooded with a mix of embarrassment and dread. My phone is an extension of my hand, a constant companion in all my daily activities. Whether I’m mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while watching TV or responding to emails on my way to work, it’s clear that I spend a hideous amount of time online. My mornings begin with a ritual of checking sleep patterns on the Oura app and skimming through the headlines on BBC News, while my nights end with the familiar voice of Stephen Fry narrating Harry Potter on Audible to help me drift off to sleep.
I’m far from alone in this digital dependency; one recent study found that Americans check their phones 144 times a day on average, while research from 2023 showed the average screen time for users around the world aged 16 to 64 – across different platforms and devices – is 6 hours 37 minutes per day.
So, when the opportunity arose to participate in a digital detox retreat with Unplugged, my fear of being separated from my phone made me realise it was something I couldn’t afford to miss. Launched in 2020 by two burnt-out friends, Unplugged offers three- and four-night retreats in remote, off-grid cabins all within a two-hour drive or train ride from major UK cities, providing guests with a chance to disconnect from screens and technology. Its philosophy is refreshingly straightforward: “Unplugging should be easy, accessible and without any woo-woo. That’s why we created Unplugged, to help the always-on switch off.”
On a damp Wednesday morning, I packed my car with provisions and rain gear and set off from London to the Hampshire countryside. The cabin that awaited me sat on the edge of a field, enveloped by tranquil woodlands with not a soul – or structure – in sight. Though small, it was utterly charming, with ample storage and luxurious bedding that made it feel like home.
It didn’t take long for me to reach repeatedly for my absent phone: to share the small victory of lighting a fire on my second attempt with my sister on WhatsApp, to set a timer for dinner on the stove or to take a photo of the gorgeous view to post on Instagram. Not being able to do any of these things not only highlighted my reliance but also showed me the performative nature of much of my daily life. Without the ability to capture and share every moment, I was left with no other choice but to immerse myself fully in the present. This forced disconnection allowed my mind to unwind in ways I hadn’t experienced since I set up my MSN Messenger profile back in 2001.
After just a few hours’ separation from my phone, suddenly I felt the need to do just one thing at a time – something I realised I never usually do. So, I turned off the radio while I was cooking so that I gave my full attention to the task at hand. My book lay unread while I ate lunch. In the morning, I opened the blackout blinds and spent time just looking down on the field in front of me. Within 24 hours in the cabin, I was more profoundly relaxed than I can ever remember feeling.
As I (reluctantly) departed on Saturday morning after almost three days and nights offline, the thought of reuniting with my phone sparked more anxiety than excitement. I was wary of losing the clarity and focus I had gained during my stay, recognising the weight of responsibility that comes with carrying the world and all its answers in my pocket. But I found that the real benefit of an experience like this is learning to integrate new habits into the real world. So, here are five tips I learned on my digital detox that have helped me disconnect from my phone back at home.
5 Ways To Use Your Phone Less In Everyday Life
- Turn Off Your Notifications – Unless they’re absolutely necessary. Experiment with having certain ones off during the week (such as social media) or on the weekend (work emails).
- Delete The Apps You’re Using Too Much – Even if you reinstall them later, temporarily breaking the habit of scrolling – whether it be a dating app, social media or the news – can be freeing.
- Develop A Morning Ritual – Giving something your full attention before you pick up your phone – whether it be grinding coffee beans, whisking matcha or chopping fruit for a smoothie – can help focus your mind for the day ahead.
- Turn On Airplane Mode – Especially before you go to sleep and leave it that way until you’re fully ready for the day.
- Keep A Notepad Close By For Making Lists – Especially if you’re someone who relies on their Notes app. It can also help to curb impulse shopping if you write down what you want, to allow yourself time to think about it, rather than immediately clicking and buying something online.
Stella Fabinyi is Managing Director of Service95
