How To Find The Right Sex Toy
Clinical sexologist and Sexology Girl herself Avril Louise Clarke reveals the ways to uncover the toy for you
Single, in a relationship or dating? Want to experience an orgasm for the first time, discover new pleasure points on your or your partner’s body or bring a much-needed twist to a sexual relationship? You might just find your answer in a vibrator, anal plug or dildo. Sex toys invite playfulness and pleasure and can revolutionise your sexual wellbeing by helping you to determine what you enjoy (and where), making it easier to communicate to a partner – leading to more pleasurable sex.
There are so many types of toys to choose from that it can feel overwhelming. So where to begin? Well, it begins with you. You need to explore and discover what makes you feel good. Masturbation is the best – and, most importantly, fun – way to discover your body’s needs and desires. It’s common that your preferences can take a while to figure out (and may change over time), and what is enjoyable during partnered sex may differ when you’re going at it solo.
The other thing to consider when exploring the plethora of sex toys available is material. Cheaper materials – such as PVC – can mean sacrificing your safety. A body-safe toy is easy to clean and made of non-porous material so bacteria can’t get trapped and grow, so the best materials range from silicone and glass to metal and crystal. Yes, the latter are more expensive, but think of it as investing in your pleasure and sexual health.
And then you need the best sex toy and (sex) playmate – lubrication. A good lube makes it easier to slide, glide and insert in a way that feels good for you and your partner(s). Water-based lubricants are typically the most toy-safe as silicone-based lubricants can break down the materials of silicone toys (Hanx lubricant is my personal go-to).
Finally, it’s worth remembering that we all experience pleasure differently, so there is no one-toy-fits-all. That said, if you want mind-blowing orgasms or to add a bit of kink to your sex life, these are some of my top recommendations.
- Njoy Pure Wand
Hello, perfect G-spot and prostate stimulation! This motorless toy is so good for penetration and intense orgasms. The stainless-steel materials can also be used for some fun temperature play; safely making it cooler or warmer depending on your preference can really up the ante. - Fin by Dame
This small vibrating toy is ideal for stimulation of the vagina and penis. Great for partnered (or group) action, it fits comfortably between your fingers, making it more user-friendly if the mobility of your hands is limited. - Pinwheel Transfix Dual 10 Reel
If light BDSM piques your interest, this pinwheel can be rolled down sensitive areas to give some sensory play that will leave you with goosebumps – and wanting more. - B-Vibe Snug Plug
For those who enjoy a little anal stimulation, try this butt plug. It has a flared bottom, so it won’t get lost up there, it’s discrete enough for solo sex, and great during a little partnered action too. - Eva by Dame
This hands-free toy, with its dual set of wings that fit seamlessly in place by the outer lips of the vulva, stimulates the clitoris all while leaving space for the vaginal opening to enjoy penetrative sex if you’re after some dual stimulation.
Avril Louise Clarke is also an intimacy coordinator at the non-profit project The P*rn Conversation, which focuses on comprehensive sex education and porn literacy
